Walk across the room! August 25, 2008

Brian bought a book a while ago called “Just Walk Across The Room”, written by Bill Hybels.  In short, the book is about what it’s title says, taking the time to walk across the room to that person standing alone and saying hi.  Basically stepping outside your “zone”, being aware of who or what is going on around you and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.  I don’t know about you, but this is not an easy thing for me to do.  Recently though, I have been reminded about this book through the experiences I am having here in North Carolina.

A couple of weeks ago, Brian was playing music at one of our favorite coffee shops.  I was sitting with Zachary while Brian was playing.  I noticed a mom walk in with a stroller and a baby inside.  The baby was tiny.  I scooped up Zachary and walked over to say hi and congratulate her on her new little one.  As I walked up I noticed that the little girl had a brace around her jaw.  As I said hello, the mom began to share their story with me.  Her little girl was 4 months old and had been born with a small jaw that did not allow her to breathe, eat or swallow correctly.  The doctors had to break her jaw and reset it.  She had been in the NICU for many weeks.  She was due to get her brace removed the following Tuesday.  We sat and shared our NICU stories.  It’s a moment I can’t really do justice to writing about it.  We had an immediate connection and her story touched my heart deeply.  I gave her my information and invited her to email me so we could get together again.  I still pray that she will email me one of these days.  But even if we never meet again, that small encounter was life changing.  Brian said, “You never know what can happen when you just walk across the room.”.  How true, how true.

This past week Zachary and I went to a park play date for moms in the area.  We went and met some really nice moms.  It was a fun day.  While we were at the park, I noticed an older lady sitting next to a young boy on a swing.  I walked over with Zachary and said hello and commented on the beautiful day.  We ended up introducing ourselves and she invited Zachary and I to sit next to them.  She was there with her grandson whom she watches every day.  We discovered that we lived in neighboring subdivisions.  She usually met friends at the park so the kids could play together, but that day the friends could not come.  As I shared with her about Zachary and his journey, she began to tell me about the friends that usually go to the park with them.  They had trouble having kids and ended up adopting two children.  Their story was amazing and beautiful.  Since Brian and I have talked and prayed about the possibility of adopting one day, this conversation resonated deep in my soul.

It’s amazing what can happen if we just walk across the room.  It’s not easy and it isn’t always an amazing experience.  It’s definitely about being vulnerable.  I’ve taken chances with different groups, only to feel like an outsider.  Not everyone knows how to include others or make others feel welcome.  I think it may be a lost art.  But I am convinced that this art can flourish again.  Go ahead, walk across the room and see who God introduces you to. Feel free to share your stories too.  I’d love to hear them!

Is structure so scary? August 21, 2008

Over the past few weeks Zachary and I have been going to Toddler Time at the local library.  They do stories and songs.  It’s fun and Zachary is fascinated by the other kids.  Toddlers are active little people so you never know what will happen, but lately it has felt more chaotic than usual.  I have been doing some observing to try and figure out why this is.   Most parents sit with their children on the floor and participate with them in the songs and stories.  There are some parents who sit back and watch their child as they roam around the room.  I think that is fine.  But what happens when a child stands in front of the teacher and grabs at her things when she is trying to lead the lesson?  What would you do?  My initial instinct would be to gently pick up my child, take him back to our area on the carpet and encourage him to watch and listen to what the teacher is doing.   Lately, I have been observing more parents letting their children roam without direction, even if they are up front getting into things.  This is where the chaos seems to build.  More kids gather around the teacher and it becomes difficult for the lesson to continue.  Those of us who are sitting, trying to listen and participate are left watching the struggle.  I admit it, I became frustrated and finally picked up Zachary and left.

The other day we went to another Toddler Time at a different library.  It was mostly music.  The teacher told the adults to let their children do whatever they wanted as long as they were safe.  If that meant running around the room, that was fine.  She asked that we stay with her and continue doing the activities so our children will see us as we model for them. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all about letting kids explore and learn at their own pace, but shouldn’t we as parents help guide our children in that learning?  As I watched some children run around the room it didn’t seem to me that they cared at all about what mom, dad or grandma was doing.  They were wild and free while other children were trying to sing along over the chaos.  Sometimes I wonder if we are so afraid to “squelch” our child’s individuality that we let go of structure and the opportunity to teach them skills they will need for their future.

There are definitely times and places to allow our kids to run, shout and be plain silly, but then there are times to help our children learn to be still, participate and listen.  After all, they have never been in this world before.  They look to us to be their primary guide and teacher.  I do know that when they go off to preschool or Kindergarten there will be quiet times and story times where they won’t be allowed to run around and do what they want. Wouldn’t it be helpful for us to begin building that structure into their lives at an early age?  I think so.

Thanks for reading as I process “out loud”.  I welcome your thoughts too!  Blessings to you and your little one(s)!

The Light in the Darkness August 18, 2008

I am sure some, if not most of you know who Steven Curtis Chapman is.  For those who may not, he is an award winning Christian music artist.  Although I admire him and have enjoyed his music, I do not follow him often.  Recently, though, I have been deeply moved by the story surrounding his family.  Tragedy struck the Chapmans in late May when their 5 year old adopted daughter was accidentally struck and killed in their driveway by a car driven by their son.  It’s a story that tears my heart apart.  The Chapmans have shared their journey through the ‘Valley of the Shadow of Death’ in recent interviews.  The most recent is in this week’s People Magazine.  As a parent, I can not begin to comprehend the pain and heartache.  As a Christian, I can not begin to comprehend the darkness.  It is not difficult to imagine how such an event can tear a family apart or how deeply faith in God can be challenged.  Yet as they walk this path, they walk as a family, loving each other and holding steadfast to the forgiveness, hope and strength they know in Jesus.  Within the People Magazine article, there is one page that is a full color head shot of Steven Curtis Chapman and the quote on the page reads “The only thing more frightening than walking through what we walked through with our faith would be to walk through this alone, cursing God.” – Steven.  The Chapmans have humbly confessed their pain, questions, challenges and need in seeking counseling and help.  They show that they are human, but have a belief that stands at the core of who they are, individually and as a family. Thank you, Chapman family for being willing to share your story.  May it bring hope, healing and life to hearts, lives and families who are walking is such valleys.

Tonight, I cling to the Truth found in one of my favorite songs, “Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.  Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave.  Jesus conquered the grave.”  And I am convicted of the need to share this message of grace and hope to all, even the places and people who we find the hardest to love.

Back To School For Some August 16, 2008

I was at the Lake Shore Learning Store this week.  I love that place!   I had to smile as I walked through the store overhearing teachers asking each other “Will I use this?”  or  “Oh I need to get this!” and the ever so popular “I need to get out of here!”.   I was teaching Kindergarten when Zachary was born and this will be my second year of not returning to teaching.  Many ask me if I miss teaching or if I’ll go back.  There are definite things I like about being a teacher and things I really don’t.  But do I think about it and yearn?  Honestly, no.  I am so happy being home with Zachary.  Now don’t get me wrong, he runs me in circles and tests my patience often.  But to watch him explore and experiment, it’s the best teaching experience I could ever have.

His most recent discovery is the garbage.  Now we have one of those state-of-the-art, heavy duty cans that has a lid that opens with a foot pedal.  The little bugger loves to get into it and take out garbage!  It really does not matter how many times I remove him from it, say “that is not for Zachary” or even present the stern “no, Zachary”, he goes back again and again.  In fact he crawls closer to it, looks at me, crawls a little closer, looks again and then lays on the “look what I’m going for, mom!” smile.   Do you know what I’m talking about?!   Tonight I got to that point where I had lost my energy so I just smiled back and watched.   He has figured out that if he leans his chest against the can (he’s not standing or walking on his own yet), he can  balance himself, lift the lid with one hand and stick the other hand down in.  Now when you think about it, that is amazing problem solving.  Especially when just a week ago he would see me stick things in it, but he could only pound on the lid.  And when I throw something away, I don’t touch the lid, I step on the pedal.  So he wasn’t even watching how I was doing it.  All I could do tonight was smile, pick him up and tell him how smart he is and how much I love him!  Maybe one day I’ll go back to teaching at a school, but for now I will enjoy being taught by my little man to just sit back and enjoy the moments.  They just grow up so fast.

Hello world! August 15, 2008

Well, here I go.  Time for me to get into the blogging world.  Mostly it’s a chance for me to think “out loud” about experiences I have being a mom, wife, pastor’s wife and a child of God.  There will be thoughts, observations, opinions and questions.  My past experiences will most likely influence my thoughts, but I claim to be no expert on any subject.  Praying for patience, guidance and wisdom, I walk through each week one day at a time.  So here I go, walking and thinking “out loud.”  Thanks for coming along!