How often do you notice the hand of Jesus in your life? I tend to fly through days without opening my eyes to see how he works. There is a large, beautifully framed picture of the hand of Jesus above our fireplace. A few days ago, Brian was holding Zachary, showed him the picture and shared what it was. Since then, Zachary acknowledges that picture every day, several times. Before going for a nap, before leaving to go to the gym or the store, before going outside and before bedtime. He looks at the picture, waves and says “Bye, bye, Jesus hand! Bye!” It melts my heart. First because of how he says it with is sweet voice, but secondly because he remembers that it is there. Of course, Jesus is always with us and never leaves us, but the point for me is how often I miss it. His hand is at work in my every day. I even have a visual representation of it hanging on my living room wall. So often I don’t even take the time to notice. Thanks to my 2 year old, I am starting to open my eyes!
Dangerous Wonder June 9, 2009
A while back, I was a part of an amazing group of women who met regularly for Bible study. We read through several books of the Bible, shared thoughts and prayers and simply enjoyed being together. Those days bring back fond memories. I miss those women. Today, I live several hundred miles away and mostly keep up with them through facebook and Christmas letters. Our lives have changed with marriages, babies, celebrations and tragedies, yet no matter how far apart we are, every time I discover an event that is or has happened in their lives, I celebrate, grieve with and pray for them. I think we will always be connected deeply even if we are not connected daily like we use to be.
This group of women were brought to my mind the other day as I was searching the bookshelf for a new book to read during my devotional time. I saw the book tucked in the back and knew with one glance that I needed to read it. The book is entitled “Dangerous Wonder” and is written by Michael Yaconelli. I first read this book as I sat on the floor of a girlfriend’s house surrounded by good friends trying to deepen our relationship with Jesus. The book spoke to my soul in simple, yet profound ways. I haven’t picked up that book since. Today as I read the second chapter, I am struck by how this life takes hold of me and squeezes my faith and joy to near dryness…over and over again. There are many days that I long for that group of ladies to sit with, laugh with, cry with and just be with. Life takes you on journeys where you say good-byes and pack memories, journeys which can fill you up and run you down. But no matter where life takes us, Jesus walks with us. The memories of those friendships and the desires we had to walk each day with Jesus has reignited a passion in my soul which I have almost let flicker out.
“Every day I want to be in dangerous proximity to Jesus. I long for a life that explodes with meaning and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk and danger. I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous. I want to be with Jesus, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.” – Micheal Yaconelli
“It is time to find the place where the dangerous wonder of faith can be discovered – a place landscaped by risky curiosity, wild abandon, daring playfulness, quiet listening, irresponsible passion, happy terror and naive grace. In a day when most of us are tired, worn-out, thirsty and starving for life and joy and peace, maybe it’s time to become a child again.” – Micheal Yaconelli
Sigh…that is where I am, this is what I need… to sit at the feet of Jesus and be filled with awe, wonder, joy and abundant life that Jesus promises. A good friend mentioned recently that she wonders if such a life is realistic. I believe it is, but I know I can’t experience it on my own. I need to walk with Jesus each day and spend time at His feet as much as possible.
Thanks, ladies, for introducing me to this book and for the many days we spent sharing and growing together. I miss you all and love you forever!
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Jesus, Matthew 18
“Help, please.” May 27, 2009
Zachary’s new favorite phrase is “Zachy try it!”. No matter what it is, “Zachy try it!”. He doesn’t want help anymore. He wants to do it on his own. He wants to try. So I step back and let him try. When he does it, he is so excited, but when he can’t do it, he is so frustrated. I try to help him and he immediately says, “Zachy try!”. Sometimes he says it with such an expression that I can’t help but smile. He wants so badly to do it and just doesn’t realize that sometimes and extra hand makes all the difference. I will let him try, but I will be right there when he turns to me and says, “help, please.”
This morning I was hit with the realization of how much I am like that. I am not very good at asking for help. I tend to try to do it all on my own, after all, I know how I want it done so I might as well just do it so it turns out the way I want it to. Am I the only one who struggles with this? Today I was reading from Jeremiah 6. The prophet speaks to the people about the destruction of Jerusalem due to their disobedience and turning away from God. In the midst of all this destructive talk, there is a verse that struck me. It is Jeremiah 6:16 “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls.’” God continues to plead with his people, trying to get them to hear his call, his word of love and reconciliation, but the people continue to turn away and not listen. How that passage struck me today. Lately I feel like it has been all about “Michelle try it!”. No wonder I am feeling heavy laden these days. Today was the first time I have opened my Bible in weeks, possibly months. I have been consumed with every day life and have forgotten about every day faith. I always want to try things. I never want to lose my drive, but I also know that I can’t do this life on my own. I need Jesus. He is my Savior, my friend, my way, my life. He is always here, letting me try but ready to pick me up when I finally remember to ask for help. May I always remember that He is my help.
So here I am, opening the Word and hearing God speak to me…”Stand at this crossroads and look; ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your soul.” Thank you, Lord, thank you!
May He speak those words to you today as well and may you find rest for your soul.
Being Brave May 22, 2009
“Help us be brave with one another, for these are the days.” What does this prayer mean to you when you first read it? I read it several times as my mind tried to wrap around it. It struck me somewhere deep and I couldn’t stop reading the phrase. To be brave…have courage, boldness, not be scared or worried… Those were my initial thoughts. For today has enough worry of it’s own, right? So be joyful and brave. God is with you. Then, I looked it up in the dictionary and what it said really made me think. Brave; ready to face and endure danger or pain, show courage. Read that again, would you? I still can’t stop reading it.
I had this picture in my head of Superman or Batman, maybe because I recently watched the movies of these superheroes. When their person becomes the hero, they are super strong, super courageous, super people…not afraid of anything, not scared, not thinking of themselves…they are brave. But when the mask and outfit comes off, we see that they are just people. They love, desire, fear, hurt and feel. Is it really being a superhero that we desire? To be strong, courageous, not afraid of anything, always thinking of others first? Sometimes, I think I do desire that. I weigh myself down too often with the cares of this world and desire to just let it all go. “Don’t worry, but happy!” But this prayer that I read this morning brought me back down to earth. It’s not just about being ready to face and overcome danger or pain…it’s about being ready to face and endure danger or pain. It’s about living. It’s about reconciliation and restoration. It’s about being willing to go deep within to face and endure the danger and pain in broken relationships, with addictions, with hurts, fears and doubts. It’s about being vulnerable. For it is when we allow ourselves to walk through the pain and hurt that we can be restored and renewed. These were words I needed to hear today. This is a challenge I need to grab hold of in my life.
“Help us be brave with one another, for these are the days.”
Jesus, may we love openly, enter into the deep wounds and scars of our hearts, reach out with compassion and hope in relationships where there is heartache and hurt and experience the healing power of your love and grace. And may we find humility when others come, trying to brave in their relationship with us. For these are the days that have been given to us. This is our time. May we have courage to be brave with one another today. Amen
I am reading a new book, Cold Tangerines, by Shanuna Neiquist. Brian gave it to me for Mother’s Day. and I am loving it. She writes a collection of short stories, glimpses of life experiences and how they have shaped her. This prayer was in a chapter I read this morning.
“All Things New” April 14, 2009
Here I sit, two days after Easter. He is risen! Amen! I have not forgotten and yet my life seems to pull me into the same old, same old routine. Does the news of Easter change us? Do we look at the world differently? Are we challenged and made new? I want to be. I want to carry the joy of Easter with me every day. I want to smile at my neighbor, lend a hand where there is need, love my family and share the good news of Jesus and the grace He has given us. Reality…I am human. I will have those days of low energy, no motivation, loneliness and weariness. I know this to be true, but I also know the Truth. Jesus died for us. He gave His life that we may have new life and have it abundantly. I will not forget, and when I am down, I will look up, for I know He is with me. Wherever you are on your journey through life, may you never forget that you are loved. He makes all things new. All things, even you and me!
I very much enjoy the music of Andrew Peterson. His album “Resurrection Letters Vol: II” has slipped into my favorites. I want to share this song with you. It is called All Things New. You can listen to it and more at http://www.rhapsody.com/andrew-peterson .
You can check out Andrew Peterson at http://www.andrew-peterson.com
“Come broken and weary. Come battered and bruised. My Jesus makes all things new, all things new. Come lost and abandoned. Come blown by the wind. He’ll bring you back home again, home again. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, the light of the dawn is upon you. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, he makes all things new.
Come frozen with shame. Come burning with guilt. My Jesus, he loves you still, he loves you still. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, the light of the dawn is upon you. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, he makes all things new. The world was good, the world is fallen, the world will be redeemed, so hold on to the promise. The stories are true that Jesus makes all things new. The dawn is upon you. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, the light of the dawn is upon you. Rise up, oh you sleeper, awake, he makes all things new.”
